Every Man's Dream Come True

This Election, We Get a Chance to Be Indiana Jones

Oct 30, 2024

Indiana Jones is one of the greatest movie characters of all time. Concieved by George Lucas, he was the hero in what was to be an updating of the old Saturday afternoon advernture serials that Lucas loved as a kid. After George made a ton of money on Star Wars, he was given a blank check for his next project and this was first on his list. He recruited his longtime friend in Hollywood, Steven Spielberg, to direct, who loved the idea. After trying out various male actors for the lead, including Tom Selleck (who has the infamy of turning down both Indiana Jones AND Han Solo), they settled on Harrison Ford to bring the guy to life.

As a character, Jones is the epitome of male ego run amok.

He’s tough. He can handle himself in a fight, even among guys bigger and stronger than he is.
He’s smart. He has a doctorate in archaeology and as the bureaucrat in Raiders of the Lost Ark notes, “a finder of rare antiquities.”
He’s clever. He doesn’t just outsmart or outlast his opponents. He thinks on the fly, coming up with solutions out of nowhere based on what is around him.
He’s sexy. He always gets the girl, and is the admired of many the female students he has in his classes.
He doesn’t give up. He may lose something or face a setback, but he never stops until he gets what he wants.
He’s a sophisticated. He travels the world, blends into all sorts of exotic places like a local and seems to fit in wherever he goes.
He’s cool. Fedora hat. Leather jacket. Bullwhip. Nonchalant ease about him. Yeah, he’s fucking cool as hell.

Yeah, I don’t know any man who hasn’t dreamed of being Indy at some point or another. Recently, as the character has aged, the last two outings (“Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” and “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”) were weak and mediocre by comparison. Indiana just seemed beat, old, outdated. When he was in his prime though, he was the alpha of alpha heroes on film.

When you look at his two best films, “Raiders of the Lost Ark” and “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,” there is one very obvious and very intentional detail that stands out. Nazis were the clear villains. As Harrison Ford once noted in an interview, “The villains are Nazis; best villains there ever was.” Nazis are the archetype for the worst kinds of humans there are. In an Indiana Jones film, it’s not just Indiana finding his way to treasure and racing against opponents, it’s our hero kicking the shit out of some Nazis, who not just shouldn’t win, but CAN’T win, for the fate of the World. When he discovers the people he is up against in “Last Crusade” are Nazis again, he comments, “Nazis, I hate these guys." There is no gray area here. Indiana Jones is the hero. A hero among heroes even. The Nazis are villains. The worst villains imaginable. I mean, you REALLY want Indy to win and the Nazis to lose just for the fact that they’re Nazis.

I don’t call people “Nazi” or “Fascist” lightly. If you lower the standard as to what constitutes those terms, they lose all impact and meaning. I know in past elections and past years, liberals have been very quick to call Republicans and conservatives Nazis or Fascists, to which I disagreed but didn’t defend conservatives from either. It seemed to be the drift to where the more conservative of the two parties were heading. I didn’t think then it was accurate, but saw the direction the party was going and kind of shrugged; it was a legitimate criticism of sorts.

And then Trump came along.

In my mind Trump is too stupid to actually be a Nazi in the same vein as Hitler. Nonetheless, he clearly is willing his party in that direction, the people around him all want to go that direction (if they are not ourtight Nazis now), and from what he says in public, he’s walking (goose stepping) and talking (propaganda) like a Nazi and a Fascist. His military advisors from his first term in office all comment on how he praised Hitler’s control over his office and how what Trump requests mirrors very authoritarian behavior. Some of the statements by former Trump Chief of Staff John Kelly, former Trump Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mike Milley, former Trump Defense Secretary Mike Esper and former Trump Secretaries of State John Bolton and Rex Tillerson are outright chilling. The Republican party has become nothing but a party of nihilists and Trump is leading them down a very ugly path.

At his Madison Square Garden rally this past weekend, what was spoken by all the speakers, what was cheered by the crowd, what was said of fellow Americans was outright atrocious. I mean, it mirrored in every way the 1939 Nazi Rally at the same location. Here are two pictures that speak volumes. The choice of venue, the content and the speakers WERE NOT COINCIDENTAL.

1939

2024

So as I said here when I said “Trump is Repugnant,” I also want to be clear when I say that Trump and Republicans are endorsing Fascism and Authoritarianism, and that Trump, despite his protestations, is indeed speaking and acting like a Nazi.

Which brings me to the whole point of this whole piece. Men, we have a crucial role to play in this election. Right now, Trump is leading more among men than Harris is leading among women. This gender gap is going to be the largest it’s ever been. It’s particularly noteworthy in the most important states; Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania. Here is our chance, our DUTY, to be the hero we always wished we could be. We get to save not just ourselves, but the country and even the world. We get to prosper with the right choice for the economy. We get to make the smart decision. We get to do all the things we’ve always wanted to do, we get to actually be Indiana Jones this election if we want and be the hero who kicks some Nazi ass.

We don’t have to escape a booby trapped cave, dig for a grave, or race for our lives. We don’t even have to punch anyone, hit someone over the head with a bottle or reach for the gun against the sabre-rattler. We don’t even need our trusty bullwhip.

All we have to do is vote for Kamala Harris.

That’s an incredibly small price to pay to be Indiana Jones for a day. And years from now, when we are talking to our kids and grandkids, we can tell them that when the time came, we kicked some Nazi butt just like Indiana Jones.

PurpleAmerica’s Cultural Corner

Ask most people what the order is for their favorite Indiana Jones films and it usually falls down a very predictable path:

Raiders of the Lost Ark or Last Crusade. Whichever isn’t first, is usually second.
See above.
Temple of Doom.
Dial of Destiny
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

And for the most part, that really does kind of define the quality. I prefer Raiders of the Lost Ark because it was the first, but enjoy Sean Connery a lot in Crusade and it has the better ending.

But most people don’t rank their favorite Indiana Jones Scenes. Well, that’s the kind of thing we’re here for at PurpleAmerica

The Opening Scene to Raiders of the Lost Ark. We’re introduced to Indiana Jones in a South American cave, not only trying to get the loot, evade poison darts and escape a giant boulder, but also face to face with a tribe led by his nemesis archaeologist, bent on killing him to eliminate competition. One of the best openings in movie history.
The Holy Grail scene in Last Crusade. From the moment they arrive in Petra to the very end of the film, this is one revelation after another, demonstrating everything we love about Indiana Jones.
The Opening Scene in Temple of Doom. Set to now Spielberg’s wife Kate Capshaw singing “Anything Goes” in a Chinese nightclub, everything from the negotiation of a diamond, to the music, to the calamity that ensues, its a great piece of cinematic timing and character introduction.
Indiana shoots the sword wielding opponent in Raiders. Suffering from dysentery at the time, Spielberg was telling Ford how he was going to fight against the guy when Ford said “Can’t I just shoot him?” Spielberg laughed at the thought and said, “Yeah, do that.” Its movie gold.
The snake scene in Raiders. Indiana has a fear of snakes. So when they open the Well of the Souls and see that its filled with asps, Indiana laments, “Snakes, why’s it gotta be..snakes?” The whole scene is tense throughout, and if you pay close enough attention at various points, you can see glimpses of the glass separating the actors from the real venomous vipers.

Honorable Mention: The scene on the bridge at the end of Temple of Doom.

You’ll notice there is nothing from the last two pictures in this list. That’s because they are on a tier much, much lower.

PurpleAmerica’s Obscure Fact of the Day

Actor Harrison Ford went to Ripon College in Wisconsin. Ripon, WI is the brithplace of the Republican Party. When asked about his college days, he once quipped, “It’s a harder college to get out of than it was to get into.”