This Week in PurpleAmerica: DEBATE PRECAP EDITION
An Appreciation for Carl Douglas, Hong Kong Phooey and Tonight's Debate
[To the Tune of “Kung Fu Fighting”]
It just looked like two Old Fools Fighting
It was just an old school White Thing
In fact, it was a little bit frightening
To hear two grown men whining
These two elderly “gentlemen” from the DC Swamp town
One a legislator, the other just a clown
It was way past bedtime, both their marbles were far gone
We all anticipated hearin’, “Get off of my lawn!”
Everyone watched Two Old Fools Fighting
CNN had 12 panelists analyzing
Overwrought hyperbole they were citing
Of this snoozefest unenlightening.
There was Methusalah Joe Biden and felon Donald Trump
Jake Tapper called out Donny, as another lyin’ chump
Dana Bash followed up, for a one minute reply
But Biden kinda stammered looking lost in the eyes
It was just Two Old Fools Fighting
It was as dull as wet paint drying
Why can’t we have a candidate worth hiring
Like Rhaenyra Targaryen
[It’s a House of the Dragon thing]
Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho
Oh-ho-ho-ho
America Watched Old Fools Fighting
They fought with tortoise style timing
A slow motion car crashing, octogenarians clashing.
CNN Brought Two Old Fools Fighting
The old folks home’s a-hopping
The ratings weren’t quite flopping
High hopes for ‘25 are a-stopping.
Old Fools Fighting
As of this writing
Poll numbers aren’t spiking
For Trump nor Biden
Old Fools Fighting
Can’t have a young guy running?
Or woman Pres. winnin’?
Preferably ‘fore the world ends.
PurpleAmerica’s Cultural Corner
Huge Hat tip to the great Carl Douglas for the melody.
DEBATE BINGO CARDS
Get your Debate Bingo Cards Here. 5 below— print off and have fun. Enjoy!
PurpleAmerica’s Obscure Fact of the Day
No other debate in history has featured two people who were President.
PurpleAmerica’s Final Word on the Subject
It’s a little sad that in a country of 350 million people, these are the two “best” people we could come up with to lead the country and the free world.
—PurpleAmerica