A Protest Event That Would Work

Dem Protests Fail Because They Preach To the Choir; Instead, Preach to the Gen Xers who Fondly Remember 1984...Bring Back the '80s

Liberal protesters today don’t get how to protest. They throw fits that only appeal to those already on their side. They stop traffic and annoy the crap out of everyone else. They engage in toxic activism which only undercuts the very causes for which they are protesting. So how are they to voice their displeasure? How do they bring a crowd together to counteract what is going on in Washington.

My solution: Bring back the ‘80s.

Hear me out here. I realize that revisionist history has redefined the ‘80s somewhat and not everyone loves it these days, but here’s the thing…those Gen Xers that shifted to the right, giving Trump swing state after swing state, LOVED the 1980s. The 1980s are a pop culture bonanza, where fun, the Cold War, marketing, music videos, high bangs, and uber-macho male action movies all collided in a montage of “WTF were we thinking?” At the head of that decade, was a walking-talking pop culture reference himself, Ronald Reagan.

Now, I’m not saying “bring Reaganism back” though doing so would put us back in a more liberal position than we are now. What I’m saying is bring “The Pageantry of Reagan” back, the spirit. I realize a lot of people look at Reagan and say he was the cause for when things went sour in America. However, for most, the 1980s was a great time, and if you can get past the pessimistic aspects just a little, you’ll be appealing to the right group with the right messages. Have some fun again and bring people along for the joke. Here’s what you can do by turning back the clock to 1987:

• Bring up the fact that Reagan was pro-immigration. You can actually quote many of the things he said in praise of it. He viewed America as “the shining city on a hill,” a beacon for everything good in the world. That’s a positive message people can get behind. Reagan’s optimism, in this, and in several other issues and how he messaged that optimism to the American public was how he won 49 states in 1984.

• Reagan was ADAMANTLY Anti-Russian, unlike our current President. It was the height of the Cold War! You would NEVER see Reagan on the same side as Putin, fighting against a breakaway republic. We’d be sending so many arms to Ukraine and praising them up in support that we’d make movies about Schwarzeneggar and Stallone going there to shoot up Russkies in Kharkiv. Reagan understood where the lines were drawn, and hawked over them. When Berlin was a divided city, it was the focus of American support. Play that angle up. American Patriotism supporting the Patriots of Today, fighting in a good cause.

  • You know how much FUN you could have with this topic alone. This area is so ripe for Trump-mockery that I’m going to offer a contest for the person who puts the best 1980s Cold War Trump Joke in the comments. I mean, as an example, a parody of “99 Luftballoons” where Trump loses a MAGA hat in a windstorm and it gets mistaken for a missile starting WWIII.

• The ‘80s was a time when there were a LOT of charity fundraising songs. Every issue had one. Band Aid. USA for Africa. Artists United Against Apartheid. Hands Across America. Man, if you were a group and you were interested in fundraising while making a point, the ‘80s were your era. That’s not even getting into Live Aid. Farm Aid. Comic Relief and the dozens of other events. If you want to really get under Trump’s skin, get a bunch of people dressed up as Prince¹, Michael Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna and the crew singing “We Are the World” outside the White House for a protest.

• Speaking of “Hands Across America” make a human chain around the White House barricades, Mar-a-lago and Trump Tower block, with everyone wearing ‘80s fashion.

• Have someone dress up as Marty McFly and Doc Brown from the future except use a Cybertruck and complain about how it sucks as a time travel device and that nobody 30 years from now would be caught dead near anything that looks like it.

• Make a “Pepsi Challenge” where people sit down and you ask them if they would prefer various things in society. One option is what it was under Obama or Biden, the other is what it is under Trump. Videotape their response when you show the results.

• Remake the Stryper song “To Hell With the Devil” by changing Devil with Trump. Yes, the christian heavy metal band Stryper sucked back then too, but in a way, this is pretty self referential with what we’re asking here.

• Dress up as Uncle Sam or the Statue or Liberty or some other nationalism motif. Nationalism was big in the ‘80s and if you want to beat Trump, that’s what you’ll need.

• Have an “80s Day” on the National Mall, where you encourage everyone to dress in ‘80s clothes. Girls can prop up their bangs and make another ozone hole while the guys wear mullets or try to look like Judd Nelson from the Breakfast Club or Rambo. Make signs that say “Trump, You’re Terminated” or “Trump, does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?”²

• Make a video clip of all the doofus-y shit Trump said and did hamming it up for cameras in the ‘80s as a nod to “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.” Add the video clips of his bankruptcies, failed marriages, and ridiculous shit he said to Oprah.

I think I’ve made the point here that the possibilities are ENDLESS. The main points though are that 1) you’re spreading fun, not causing havoc, 2) you’re appealing to the people you need to appeal to, and 3) you can still manage to get your point across. The more you can tap into that part of the zeitgeist, the more successful you’ll likely be.

PurpleAmerica’s Cultural Corner

One of the most successful events I’ve seen from the past 10 years was Jon Stewart’s Rally for Sanity March on the National Mall. Here are some of the highlights. Get off the roller coaster of crazy that is driving everyone nuts. TRY TO DO THIS PEOPLE!!!

PurpleAmerica’s Obscure Fact of the Day

One of the reasons ‘80s and ‘90s music and movies are so referential now is because it was the last time period when the culture was still centered on limited forums of media and distribution. It results on less societal “touchstones” that everyone can relate to. At the start of the ‘80s decade, most only received three television channels; it’s why the “Who shot J.R. Episode and Final M*A*S*H episode had so many viewers (the final episode of M*A*S*H* is still the largest audience for a scripted show at 106 million viewers).

However, by the end of the decade cable had expanded that to 20-30 channels. It began to fray in the ‘90s when internet vastly expanded the avenues to receive and distribute information. There are substantially less things that transcend the mainstream culture now quite like they did in the ‘80s and ‘90s, because its so much more difficult to get the entire population to be scoped as narrow as it was back then. The scripted show with the largest audience for an episode in 2023-2024 was a “Tracker” episode, with a paltry 10 million viewers.

PurpleAmerica’s Final Word on the Subject

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Footnotes and Fun Stuff

1. Yes, I am aware Prince was not in “We Are the World.” But if you want a great version of it, which unfortunately has Billy Crystal in blackface as Prince and Julia Louis Dreyfus as Wendy of The Revolution, check out this SNL skit from the same period. I particularly like Hulk and Mr. T playing security.

2. The single best line from the Breakfast Club.