An Assholism Epidemic
It Was on the Wane; Recent Events Have Caused It to Explode
Assholism, the chronic and contagious condition of selfishness, narcissism, negativity and arrogance, combined with the insatiable need to insert oneself’s extreme opinions into the middle of every instance of every conversation possible, is on the rise again. The problem is, as I had mentioned before, many of the people who perpetuate it have no idea they are actually just being assholes.
I had thought it was on the way out, a passing fad whose time had come and gone. Natural Assholism and political extremism go hand in hand. It tends to arise in periods of social upheaval and divisiveness; the need to say “I am always right and everyone who disagrees is wrong simply for disagreeing with my position.” I was wrong. It’s coming back in a big way as we near an election year.
The original triggering event was the election of Donald Trump, a known and very vocal and visible asshole. He’s been naturally an asshole since the 1980’s, in every sense of the word. However, his campaign not only propelled widescale assholism to extremes never seen before, but made it completely endemic in American society. He and his followers are a core source for much of the assholism in modern American society.
Next came the #MeToo movement, a well deserved recokoning against every major asshole in this country, particularly those who had mistreated women. However, the movement itself became corrupted by strains of assholery; mere suggestions to temper the lengths gone to condemn all men or offer reasonable standards on gender relationships were shunned as “mansplaining” or “misogynistic” regardless of how rational they were. This demonstrates a projective symptom of assholism. Any movement can begin with good intentions, but when it becomes so singularly focused on self-promotion completely at the expense of tearing down others it becomes nothing but a movement of assholes.
Then came the George Floyd incident, a moment in time that crystallized for the world that cops can often be complete assholes, particularly to people of color. Again, a positive movement spread calling for change; this was not where the assholes came from mind you; a rediscovery of race relations in America and for redressing some wrongs was long past due.
But when a serious discussion about race and privilege gets co-oopted by a lot of young, privileged, white, progressives going to elite universities, the assholes take over. Academia is a virtual petri dish for assholery, not just by promoting and giving energy to bouts of assholism, but also by turning a blind eye to the assholes who go to any length to promote their assholiness. The student movements to close off differing opinions, create safe spaces from anyone disagreeing with them, eliminating platforms for various philopsophies and thought and turning against professors actually doing their jobs teaching young minds about the world, all undermine what the very purpose of what universities are even for. It should come as no surprise that college campuses are ground zero for much of the mass-assholery that is infecting much of America right now.
Some areas of life are just prone to attract assholes. Finance is an area of employment that attacts more than its fair share of assholes and Bitcoin is the de facto currency of assholism. Elon Musk and Joe Rogan are messiahs of assholism. Social media is a complete amplifier of all things asshole, and I’ve previously written about online assholism here. But with Sam Bankman-Fried on trial, Twitter/X completely in freefall and anti-vaxxers looking more and more like lunatics, I had thought assholism was in decline. The normal MAGA assholes were also finally being recognized for the dumb crazy assholes they were. This I can attribute to the election of the complete and total opposite of assholism, the anti-asshole, Joe Biden.
You know how you can tell Joe Biden is the anti-asshole? All the actual assholes hate him. Last week, he had the best economic news since the 1980’s, he’s done everything right in Israel, probably the best foreign relations job of a President in 40 years, and his numbers went DOWN. Why? Because the assholes on the extreme left of the Democratic Party voiced their growing disapproval, because he hasn’t been a big enough asshole to the right. The assholes on the far right already hated him and think of him as both a feeble, old gelatin eating geriatric and also some sort of criminal mastermind. Back in the real world, Joe’s calming demeanor, silent wisdom and cool-handedness in intense situations is like a shot of penicillin into the arteries of America, attacking the asshole virus. In Ukraine, hand in hand with President Zelenskyy, they stood up to the world’s biggest asshole, Vladimir Putin. Biden is the superhero the world needs right now combatting assholism all over Earth. Things were getting better.
Unfortunately, recent events have started breakouts of assholism.
The removal of Speaker of the House, previous asshole Kevin McCarthy, by huge mega-asshole Matt Gaetz, and subsequent election of a new speaker was a “Bonfire of the Assholes.” I mean, one by one, asshole after asshole got their moment in the sun. Jim Jordan, Tom Emmer, and ultimately Mike Johnson, all assholes. Looking at Speaker Asshole, er.ah. Johnson’s resume, its like a laundry list of complete assholism. His agenda? Complete and total assholism.
Generally, anti-semitism is the very definition of assholism. However, when an honest disagreement with a Jewish/Israeli position get accused of being anti-semitic, it waters down the meaning of the words, “anti-semitic” and “asshole.” So yes, sometimes, Israel can be an asshole; they’re not immune from assholism. That being said, HAMAS on the other hand is a terrorist organization that contains nothing but assholes doing very assholy things. Quite frankly, for what they did several weeks ago, they deserve to have their assholes handed to them on a platter. Killing babies, rape, arbitrarily shooting citizens, sadistic mutilation; this is the ultimate depiction of assholism to the nth degree. I get that sometimes people don’t want to believe these things happened in war, but in this case there is undeniable proof; the perpetrators recorded themselves doing these deeds being assholes and then posted them online, the worst instance of Online Assholism I had ever heard.
In a horrible act of Assholism, someone on Cornell University's forums called for actions, not repeated here, but take my word for it, it was sheer assholism. College students went on lockdown and now fear for their lives. What kind of asshole posts stuff like that?
Sadly, when it comes to everything mentioned above, there are people who obtusely refuse to believe any of it, or worse, say they deserved it. They choose to be oblivious assholes than be confronted with facts or make a moral distinction between the acts of Israel as a country and the brutal murders and mutilation of innocent civilians. Worse still, they go about shouting down, protesting, and get into assaults defending the worst assholes involved in this. There’s a special ring in hell reserved for these assholes.
Lastly, with King Asshole Donald Trump’s trials getting underway and the likelihood he is going to be the Republican/Nihilist Party nominee again, he and his minions are beginning to amplify their assholery again.
It’s time we nip this in the bud. We need to put an end to this national crisis of assholism now. I’m putting together a coalition to Stop Assholism.
We must stand up to assholes, wherever they exist. We must be unrelenting in our pursuit of anti-assholism; be calm, count to 10, moderate your thoughts, look at exceptions to hard line rules, avoid absolutism, disengage from toxic assholes, and most importantly, just be kind. The world needs to put an end to assholism once and for all and in that, the biggest weapons we have are sound judgment, thoughtful consideration, and just being good to one another and showing each other respect.
Is that so difficult? Who's with me?
Repost this article with the words “Stop Assholism Today!” Subscribe, Like and Share. Together, we can rid the world of these assholes.
PurpleAmerica’s Cultural Corner
Lewis Black on assholes, confronting an asshole.
When you are surrounded by assholes.
When you are an asshole and proud of it. Here’s the sterotypical asshole.
PurpleAmerica’s Final Word on the Subject
Some people really need this. Think of it as a guidebook. How not to be an asshole.
Great stuff!