This Week in PurpleAmerica (4/27- 5/3)
Man v. Bear, Comedians, Trump (again), May the Fourth! and Responses to Mail!
Online this week there was a very stupid meme question circulating around and the premise is this: women would feel safer being around bears than around men.
Now, this kind of “comment bait” has been around since twitter started. Its the kind of B.S. that is meant to drive engagements and usually results in men responding going into an ever deepening spiral as they try to make their cases, and failing miserably. And women make the case and say “See, this is the exact reason men are so horrible.” Worse yet, other men then pile on with some virtue signaling and say “Yup, I know women see me as the enemy and they’d be better off in the forest with the bears.” 1
The whole discussion is not worth having. I reject the premise of this dichotomy altogether. Its’s flat out wrong to categorically claim on generalized group is better than another; it all depends on the temperments of the individual men and the individual bears. If a woman was harrassed by either, other good men and women would go out of their way to help her. Nothing exemplifies how privileged a society we live in than supposedly serious, intelligent people reflecting on whether it would be better to be alive or be bear food. I mean, it takes a special kind of chutzpah to argue that the guy in cargo shorts and a polo shirt walking on the path through a park, enjoying the day just as everyone else is, is more of a threat than the wild animal with a bite force twice that of a lion and able to snap the hardest human bone simply by closing it’s mouth. People answer for the bear to make some pseudo-political, ironic point. It’s stupid and divisive.
Women, men are not your enemy. Men want to see you succeed and fulfill your wishes to the greatest extent of your abilities. Yes, as with all generalizations, there are exceptions (complete asshats and douchbags) that defy the rules; nontheless, we have survived as a species for 250,000 years by partnering up and building families and societies TOGETHER. This kind of clickbait crap is the kind of bullshit that drives us as a society further apart. It divides us and diminishes everyone it touches.
In addition, it completely devalues and underappreciates half of the population, men, altogether. Right now, suicide rates among adolescent males are surging, up 35% in the past 10 years—not just depresssion, actual SUICIDE— largely because of online memes that disparage them for just being…boys. The rate is twice that if you happen to be a black male. People always point to the pressures every select group deals with, but everyone seems to look at young males and just assume everything is hunky dorey and ripe to ridicule. It’s not. It’s the same issue we are currently seeing with young girls and depression, yet in one case society shows sympathy and a need to do something but in the other there is this caustic indifference, even antipathy. Comparing boys to North America’s largest carnivore and sarcastically, even contempuously saying you’d feel safer with a Grizzly doesn’t help.
So I really don’t care what people think they’d be safer with. The answer is frankly obvious and if someone wants to rhapsodize for some hyperbolic and ironic reason why it would be better to be out in the wild among the bears, go ahead, go all Yellowjackets and live it up in the Canadian or Alaskan Wilds. Just remember a few things that might affect your decision:
Bears aren’t friendly. I’ve come across them in the wild and they can be terrifying, even when it looks like they are scared. Sure, they’re curious and not necessarily outright malicious, but you don’t want to spend any time near one if you don’t have to. They’re not all like Gentle Ben. At all.
A bear has no stake in your survival. They could care less. Ask Timothy Treadwell2 how friendly those cuddly, cute bears were when fall rolled in and the food started getting scarce.
Bears live in areas that are more uncivilized than society is. Nobody around for dozens, maybe hundreds of miles. No wi-fi to post your “I’d rather live with a bear” stupidity, no home delivery, no home, no running water. In fact, one of the ways societies grew were as protections against the things out in the wild, such as bears. Enjoy!
When starving, mama bears will eat their own cubs. What makes you think they would pause for a second before they devour you. Because Baloo from the Jungle Book was cute and those Polar Bears look all cuddly? Please.
Bears and other wildlife have been known to be attracted to mentstruating women in the wild. You’ve been warned.
An adult male Grizzly can weigh over 900 lbs. Average female Grizzly over 700. Average male human is about 200. My hunch is you can defend yourself better against Braeden the drunken frat bro better than the hungry Grizzly. Maybe I’m wrong about that, but I don’t think so.
Bears travel in groups. It isn’t just one bear you’d have to fight off, but as many as a dozen.
In the winter time, bears can hibernate lowering their heartbeat and living off their fat reserves for months. People still have to eat. Good luck with that one, especially if you’ve spent the summer trying to keep your figure or have been on ozempic for awhile.
Or you can just accept the inevitable truth that Christopher McCandless realized too late in John Krakauer’s biography “Into the Wild,” that happiness is found with other people. Disparaging an entire gender to make some clever quip on Threads and get some likes and engagements is not a very good way of finding it, and not very positive at all.
And one more thing about this. So many people are so excited to make their point online for a meme that doesn’t last a week. They love the pats on the back and the accolades that their tribe gives them in the moment for their clever remarks. However, those that were insulted on the other side of that remember, often vividly. So when November rolls around, and a host of liberals are wondering how Trump won and why so many men sided with him, think back to this moment and instead of reflecting on how one might have had the short term glory of choosing a bear, the bear doesn’t vote. Perhaps a welcome hand, a moment of reflection and communication, and a more positive conversation between the sexes would have been much more fruitful.
PurpleAmerica’s People of the Past Week
The Good
Detroit. Wow, they blew the roof off of the NFL draft last weekend, setting records for attendance (800,000 over the four days!). And booing Roger Goodell when he first walked out—*Chef’s kiss* That’s how you throw a city wide party. Congrats Motown, you set the standard.
House Democrats. It isn’t often when you see an act of bipartisanship quite like this. Fed up with the ridiculous clown show the GOP has turned the majority and the speakership into, Hakeem Jeffries showed some serious leadership in saying that Democrats would defend Mike Johnson through the rest of this Congress, if any attempts to vacate the chair are taken by intrasigent Republicans like Majorie Taylor Greene. Its the responsible and frankly correct thing to do. Good job Dems.
The Bad
My Milwaukee Bucks. This was supposed to be their year. They picked up Damian Lillard and turned a defensive team into an offensive juggernaut. Well, that didn’t work costing their new coach his job midway through the season. Then when they drew the Indiana Pacers in the first round, with Giannis nursing a calf strain, it was as good as over. The window is closing, if not outright closed.
Atlanta Falcons. They spend $150 million on free agent QB Kirk Cousins, $100 million of it guaranteed over 3 years, then drafted a QB with the 9th pick in Michael Penix, Jr. Nothing against Penix, he’s a great QB, but he’s had multiple knee injuries and is three years older than some of the other QBs drafted; he’s not the kind of QB you make sit to wait his turn.
The Ugly
Kristy Noem. By now you’ve likely heard about what the South Dakota Governor and potential Trump running mate did to her poor 14 month old puppy “Cricket.” Someone needs to take her political career out to that same gravel pit and put it out of it’s misery.
Columbia Protesters. After being evicted from the encampment by NY Police, Columbia protesters went to occupying Hamilton Hall instead, barricading themselves in. As reknown author Anne Applebaum noted, “It’s amazing how the protesters have taken the attention away from the suffering in Gaza and put the spotlight on themselves instead. One protester complained that not delivering food to those that barricaded themselves in was a “humanitarian issue.” To all those would=be protesters I offer you this: going to an Ivy League school is an honor and privilege, and there are plenty of others who would love the opportunity to take their place once these idiots are expelled.
I’m sorry, but I have to put Kristy Noem on here twice. What kind of person shoots a defenseless puppy? Worse yet, what kind of soulless person then brags about it in an autobiography and thinks it will make her look good? Even the most gun happy Republicans recongize she crossed a line here.
Have a nominee for us to consider? Send an email to purpleamericanunity@gmail.com!
PurpleAmerica Pop Culture Random Top Five
This week: The Top 5 Star Wars Moments
This weekend is “May the Fourth (be with you)” and as we here at PurpleAmerica are at least fans of the original trilogy, we are going to count down our top five Star Wars Movie/show moments.
The Cantina Scene. It’s the first scene where we’re given a real alien menagerie that makes the Star Wars films great. From the bartender kicking out the droids, through Obi-Wan’s lightsaber murder, to Greedo’s demise (Han shot first), its a fantastic and innovative scene.
The Battle of Hoth. Those Imperial Walkers! The rebels in retreat! All that snow! A damaged Millenium Falcon escapes. Perfect filmmaking.
The Battle of Scarif. Rogue One’s seminal battle scene, the way everything comes together gives you a real sense something divine (the Force!) is working in the background. Best battle scene in any Star Wars film.
Yoda raises the X-Wing. Up until that moment, we’re constrained as an audience because we view everything through Luke’s eyes. When we see Yoda raise the X-wing and Luke say “I don’t believe it,” Yoda’s response of “That is why you fail” hits all of us. At that point, we realize, anything in these films is possible.
Luke Battles Darth Vader in Empire Strikes Back. The light saber scene in Empire is by far the best one. Shot mostly in darkness but for red and blue lighting, its the central reversal of the whole series. Vader’s early condescension towards Luke (“All too easy”) soon gives way to awe and when given the opportunity lays down the ultimate ace up his sleeve—that he is Luke’s father. Best twist ever.
PurpleAmerica’s Subscriber Mail
When we here at PurpleAmerica Respond to the Teeming Millions (well, we’re still working on that first million)
Oy. What did I learn this week? I learned that when you write a piece encouraging voters for Trump to rethink their position you don’t get any response, just this kind of nodding assent and agreement. But man, I also learned the teeming millions aren’t comedy fans, which as I said earlier this week, is kind of tragic. After that Seinfeld post, faster than you could say “Have you ever noticed…?” my inbox was being bombarded and replies were flying around Threads. Why so serious all?
On Bill Maher…
“…Bill Maher is a racist, xenophobe…”
“…Maher’s show platforms people who should never be heard from ever.”
“…Bill Maher hasn’t been funny, ever. He’s smug, arrogant and an ass, just like Trump.”
“…Maher wasn’t even funny 30 years ago. Why is this guy still around?”
“…That Maher had RFK, Jr on this week is typical. He gives people who should not have an audience a microphone and undermines liberals everywhere. That he tries to have it both ways all the time and still claims to be liberal is what is really offensive.”
FYI— Its not his job to be a voice just for liberals. That’s something I don’t think too many liberals get. God forbid they hear something that hurts their virgin, uncorrupted ears.
On. Jerry Seinfeld…
“…OH boo hoo hoo, the guy who made a billion dollars in comedy is upset nobody wants to listen to him anymore. Cry me a river.”
“Shouldn’t Seinfeld be scouring the high schools or honeymoon suites for his next ex-wife?”3
“Seinfeld is on television all the time. You can turn on Netflix and watch any show whenever. Why is he complaining that comedy sitcoms are never on?”
“Fuck off.”
“He isn't being rejected for being funny, he's being rejected because he blames others for his lack of success”4
Just a side note on Seinfeld and what he said this week— you all do realize that everyone complaining about what he said and the manner in which they are arguing about it are basically demonstrating his entire point, right? If you disagree with it, you can just scroll right by and not give it any attention, but people just don’t. They feel it necessary to comment. Had people just ignored what Seinfeld said, and just moved on, we wouldn’t be talking about him now-him and his movie would be utterly irrelevant. All the derisive comments from everyone else are what made his points relevant, and the reaction is completely in line with everything he complained about. They feed right into everything he was saying.
The one that took the cake though was this one:
Listen, Einstein, when Donald Trump is the alternative and is on the right, you do not attack the left. Your petty BS argument is pitifully irelevent in comparison to the possibility of that bronzed buffoon being back in the White House. With the threat to democracy on red alert, we can damn well have our opinion that Seinfeld’s comment was ill asvised.
I guess he didn’t read my post the previous day which pretty much savaged Trump.
On Dave Chappelle
“Dave Chappelle is a TERF. He’s as bigoted and racist and sexist as some of the worst Trump supporters. That Neflix continues to give him a billion dollars is a crime.”
“I can’t believe you brought up Chappelle. He’s the worst and deserves to be de-platformed immediately.”
“Chappelle can rot in hell for all I care.”
“I want Chappelle’s Show Dave Chappelle back. I want RIck James, Prince, Charlie Murphy5, ‘When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong,’ ‘I Know Black People,’ and L’il Jon all back. I don’t like today’s Dave Chappelle.”
Ok. I think you all need to read this piece about Chappelle and his friend, comedian Daphne Dorman, who was trans. Or you can watch Chappelle tell the story here:
When you are done, ask yourself whether it was Chappelle who drove Dorman to suicide, or the tribal mob who didn’t like what she had to say (or that her demons were bigger than both of them). Chapelle created a fund for Dorman’s daughter, the online Mob did not.
But there was one comedian everyone seemed to agree on.
“We lost George Carlin way too soon. I look around now and wonder what he’d think of the shitshow we’re living in today.“
“Watched a Carlin stand-up special from the ‘90s with my Dad the other day while I was taking care of him following surgery. For the first time in a long time we were both laughing at the same things. At one point, I was worried that I would need to call the hospital he was laughing so hard and gasping for oxygen.“
“George Carlin set the standard. He’s in a league of his own.”
“I miss Carlin. He had the ability to make anyone laugh at how stupid we all are.”
I think that’s a good one to end it on. Since you all love him so much, and I love him too, I’m going to encourage you all to watch the documentary on his life and career , titled “American Dream.” Here’s a preview.
Have a question you want us to answer? Email us at purpleamericanunity@gmail.com
PurpleAmerica’s Historical Note from This Week
On May 2, 2011, Seal Team Six acting on intelligence that was less than concrete, secretly went into Abbottabad, Pakistan and killed Osama Bin Laden. The mission was the culmination of a nearly 10 year search for the man responsible for the 9/11 attacks, and other attacks pre-2001 on two African Embassies and a U.S. Battleship near Yemen. Ironically, the intelligence that broke the search open was information turned over to the U.S. soon after 9/11 regarding Bin Laden’s courier, that in the intelligence dumps that happened following the attacks was just overlooked and missed. Once the courier was identified and tracked, it led the CIA directly to a compound in Abbotabad. On the raid, Bin Laden was shot and killed, and his body was released at an undisclosed location into the Indian Ocean to prevent potential shrines being built.
The story doesn’t turn out well for some of the Seal Team Six members. Robert O’Neill, the Seal Team member responsible for actually shooting Bin Laden, has admitted to experiencing PTSD from his many deployments, and has been arrested for several misdemeanors.
Another member, who authored the book on the mission, “No Easy Day,6” was hounded by Department of Defense officials for not clearing the book through the normal disclosure process. Of course, had he done so, it is unlikely the book would ever have seen the light of day. The DoD charged him with disclosure of classified materials and he had been subject to multiple audits and harrassing lawsuits.
Several of the other members of the team have admitted to PTSD and not being able to return to civilian life after the heightened senses of being in the field, and the ability to keep quiet about many of the missions that they themselves took part in.
So to those great patriotic men who did the U.S. a great service, a hat tip from PurpleAmerica to all of you. You’re heroes. Don’t ever forget that.
PurpleAmerica’s Dad/Uncle/Cheesy Joke of the Week
A comedian steps out into the room and is greeted by the small audience. He tells a joke—silence. He tells another joke— crickets. He then pulls out the big gun, that joke he has always kept for situations like this where everyone he has ever told laughed themselves silly— nothing. The audience kind of looks at each other in confusion and just isn’t feeling any of it.
When his time is over, he walks out of the room and just seems confounded. One of the people comes out of the room and goes to him, “You know, perhaps the next time you are interviewing for a job, you might want to hold back on some of the humor.”
And with that…this week, we’re giving the final word to the forementioned trans-comedian Daphne Dorman:
R.I.P. Daphne. You demonstrated everything I talked about this week and set the standard. Now I just wish the rest of us could live up to that.
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Footnotes and Fun Stuff
Coincidentally, this is also the kind of thing malicious outside actors like Russia and China LOVE to elevate in the United States social media atmosphere. Any time there is senseless discord amongst ourselves is a win for them. What better way to do it than with a vile dichotomy that picks sides, encourages tribalism, gets the extremes riled up and prevents any sense of resolution or discussion.
He was the subject of the Werner Herzog documentary “Grizzly Man” who met an unfortunate demise among the crowd of bears he observed regularly in the wild.
For those less informed, Seinfeld at the height of his fame famously dated an 18 year old high school student, who was actually 17 when they first met. He met his current wife when she was on her honeymoon after marrying someone else.
Lack of success? He’s a fucking billiionaire.
Charlie Murphy unfortunately died a few years ago.
If you get the opportunity to read it, please do. Its an amazing look into the life of a SEAL team member.